Life back..

you've got your life back when your kid(s) can haul their own gear...

How..

can there be a World Series of Poker every night?

Infiniti(y)

Am I the only person who doesn't think it strange that this isn't the symbol of the Infiniti car company?

What did we learn rolling thru the Carolina's on a Nightster..

Myrle Beach is longest strip mall in the whole world. There's not one but two hooters.

Restaurants at home are rated one to five stars. Here it's on a one to five pig scale.

I passed like 250 Harleys today with only two guys riding em – an old guy with grey hair and a grey beard, or a bald, lanky skinny guy (ridin with apes of course).

Its not 'nine' its 'naaane

Ya can't take a peanut tank Sporty 70 miles past the middle of nowhere and then go – oh shit, how far can I go on a tank?

F-150's should come with H-D sticker in the back window. It would save much labor after the fact.

Tatoos can look bad on some women..

I know who Jimmy Durante's Ms Calabash was (“Goodnite Mrs. Calabash, where ever you are.”)

Cell phone battery time, because you're so far from civilization, is measured in minutes.

Time to get served and money taken in stores is measured in hours. Makes buffets much more attractive.

If you're 6'1" and riding a Nightster, its more comfortable to ride from the rear fender.

They can make fried chicken that's better than a hot fudge sundae. It's a damn national treasure.

There's very few sounds worse than the sound of a tiny bit of gas sloppin around in a very hollow peanut tank.

They name swamps. And those swamps STINK.

Barns that are not collapsing appear to be illegal.

If you live in a single wide, it might be time to lower the donations to the beautiful church next door.

You can rent to own anything.

Max..

My sons new pup listens much better at my house than my ex-wifes. I snap my fingers, he comes. I go "ppppsssssttt" he comes.

Actually its because I have a dog named Max that answers to Chanel. I snap my fingers, or call Chanel, Chanel comes, Max follows....

Good Guy Window..

I think I've found out I missed my window. In jr high school and high school, nobody was really serious or knew who they were. Simply looking to have fun. The girls went for the guys with the Camaro with the headers and sidepipes or the ratted out '62 Chevy that were on the football or baseball team. Pecks ruled. Drugs. Bad guys got the girls, good guys went to the midnight Rocky Horror together. Stoned. With rolls of toilet paper.

Later in life - Junior Senior year of college and beyond, was Good Guy time. Girls started looking out for their futures. I was a smart, decent enough looking Jewish boy living in New York City, with Grad School or Law School and a bright career ahead of me. Heck, I could have survived on just the women who my friends, my friends friends, and the girls moms, or the girls moms best friends fixed me up with. Heck, I was so good I could have probably gotten a couple of the moms (actually did, and sisters, but a story for another time). The fact that I was gonna support, seed and succeed were all the rage. Someone you could have kids with, who would actually come home after work without stopping at two strip clubs, who could palm $20 or $40 to get a table at a good restaurant, who knew the owners of Areo, Angelo's, Embers, Lizard (I don't remember the whole name, she was a Lesbian named Stripe) amongst others and the $150 tab (it was ALOT back then) was a good thing.

Now I'm 48 and dating again, few if any of the women I'm dating are looking to have anymore kids, and have had to work out some way to support themselves, so the bad guy is back in vogue. Just recently my friend, will call her E, told me that our nice friend and I would make a great couple - but she was looking for a bad guy - and that wasn't even close to me.

Oh well, leaves me more free time for my kid, my work, my friends and my riding.

62 - Love Love..

My brother has this half-in-law named Love. Smokin, but that's not the point here. How do you tell a girl named Love you Love her? You call her Love, how does she know you're not callin her? Do ya gotta go "Love Love" every time?

You know sometimes you shorten and you call out "Love.." like "Honehy". Remember Lovey in Gilligans Island? But if her name is Love, whats short for that? Do you call her "Hate"?

61 - Olympic Mop?

Who's the official mop sponsor of the 2010 Winter Olympics? I'm sorry folks, Curling isn't a sport. I think this curler picture speaks volumes...

60 - TIger I Am..

I do not care what Tiger has to say.
I do not care that he hit a tree.
I do not care that he's repaired his knee.
I do not care if he cheated on his wife.
I do not care if she chased him with a knife.
I do not care, what Tiger has to say.
Please stop talking about Tiger on ESPN all day..

59 - MSG

Am I the only person troubled that Madison Square Garden is round?

58 - Silence

Silence is Golden. Duct Tape is Silver.