17 - Band Name..

Listening to the radio - must give Colin Cowherd props for this. If he were to start a band he'd call it "Free Beer". That way the marquis (sp?) would read "Free Beer Tonight".

Think if they opened for Barenaked Ladies...Do I have to spell it out for you?

16 - Face Shots

Have you ever dated a face shot? I was new to Internet dating and mistakenly dated the women who only showed the face shots. You know what that means? She outweighs you by at least 100 lbs.

Is she's trying to get a man, or simply causing first dates to run out screaming?

Things heard from the man within 10 minutes of most face shot first dates:
"it's really nice to meet new friends.."
my mom just called and I've got to pick her up from Bingo
who the F are you lady?
when is the woman in the picture getting here?
we gotta take your truck to the movie, my car only seats 4..

15 - Cold Texas Winters

I really belong in Dallas - I'm a boots and jeans with a Tux kinda guy. So one of my favorite radio stations, if not my favorite is 93.3 The Bone, the Rock of Texas or something like that. So I'm listening, we've got 4 or 5 inches of snow up here, but not a road closing and Dallas has two or three freeways closed, ramps closed all over the place and it ends with an advertisement "Cold Dallas winters can be tough on your battery, come on in to xxxx to get a new battery.."

14 - Jack

Why do people named John go by Jack? Bill is short for William. Fred is short for Frederick. Jack is not "short" for John. It's not like you lop 3 letters off John and get Jack. It's not a nickname - it's a different name. I don't know anyone named Jack who goes by John. "Hi, my real name is Jack Nicolson, but you can call me John.."

13 - New York City Rules

Rule #1 - don't look up at buildings. Rule #2 - do not make eye contact or say hello no matter how nice they look Rule #3 - do not obey walking/traffic rules such as walk/don't walk Rule #4 - do not be polite Rule #5 - no picture taking (too late right?) Rule #6 - if it stops within 100 feet it's your cab no matter how many old/pregnant ladies are waiting Rule #7 - act like that WASN'T Shakira even if it was. Rule #8 - Carnegie for Lunch is borderline tourist so you must be careful - Corned Beef or Pastrami with mustard, russian dressing, cole slaw or swiss cheese. Mayonaise is strictly forbidden - its so tourist the waiters will mug you on your way out..

12 - Martin Luther King

I guess it's a special Martin Luther King birthday with Barach Obama being sworn in as President the following day.

Now, does this solidify the place of Equal Opportunity programs, or show us that they are no longer needed? I'm with the latter - I think it's time we can start to cut back some. What do you think?